Confusing Things to Say
Choosing an expression and saying is hard a business. If you are looking for a fantastic saying.
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- I said ‘No’ to drugs, but they wouldn’t listen
- In response to someone’s suggestion, I bet you think it’s just that easy!
- Do prison buses have emergency exits?
- When everything’s coming your way… you’re probably in the wrong lane
- Solemnly place an empty gum wrapper in the palm of a friend’s hand and clasp it with both of your own, saying, I saw this and thought of you
- What is ‘god’?
- Shush! I can’t hear what the voices are saying
- Join the line at the nearest bathroom and ask, So, they fixed this one? Thank God! I just changed into some dry clothes
- Respond to a comment with, In this economy?
- When did time begin?
- Answer the phone with, You woke me! It must be true love
- What age should a person be considered old enough to die of old age?
- When you walk into a room, say, Well, that went far worse than I expected
- Did you know you can’t legally buy a mousetrap in California without a hunting license?
- At the sight of someone riding a horse, say, Look at that show-off, sitting up there while the horse is moving
- Is the Earth alive?
- If we learn and improve from our mistakes, why are we so afraid to make mistakes?
- Whenever someone mentions algebra, I think of my X… and wonder Y
- Do they bury people with their braces still on or do they remove them?
- When someone says, Sometimes, life just be like that,respond with, And sometimes, like that, it be
- Do you ever really do anything out of your own conscious choice, or are we always controlled by some external stimulation or motive?
- If, at first, you don’t succeed, destroy the evidence that you tried
- My name is <your name>, but you can call me any time
- You’ll meet three kinds of people in this world: those who can count and those who can’t
- Walk into a room where your friend is talking to a random male stranger and say, Oooh! Is this the guy?
- I’ll know you’re my best friend if you immediately delete my internet history after I die
- Organized people are missing out on finding mountains of useless crap in the search for that one thing they held onto ‘just in case’ and finally have a use for
- How do you grow a seedless fruit?
- Answer the phone with, Can’t you see I’m pretending to be busy right now?”
- Go to someone’s house with a trash bag, pick up random items, and ask out loud, Does this spark joy?”
- Why did they put the word ‘dictionary’ in the dictionary?
- Whisper audibly to yourself while someone recalls an experience, Just like in my dream!”
- How do you know you’re not crazy and just hallucinating your whole life?
- What do you call a fly without its wings?
- At the beginning of a response, Well, as I said in a dream last night…
- If at first you do succeed, you have only yourself to blame
- In response to an attempted flirtation, I bet you say that to all the girls who laugh at you behind your back
- Are children who act in R-rated movies allowed to watch the film when it’s done?
- Do you consider eyebrows facial hair?
- If you were shorter than someone, would it be possible to talk down to them?
- Eat kale, stay fit, die anyway
- If everyone says that life is unfair, doesn’t that mean that life is fair?
- What is the goal of humanity?
- Saw it, wanted it, bought it, used it once, kept it in my house for ten years, gave it away
- How long will you be remembered after the day that you die?
- If tomatoes are a fruit, is ketchup considered a smoothie?
- Is there life after death?
- In response to any suggestion, But at what cost?”
- At the beginning of an announcement, As the prophecy has foretold…
- My New Year’s resolution is to only dread one day at a time
- When hiring someone to edit your work, ask them, How much extra for sorcery?”
- Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?
- To what degree have you been able to control the course that your life has taken?
- Did we invent math or did we discover it?
- Can you stand backward on a flight of stairs?
- Do we have free will or is everything predestined?
- Shhhh! You say it best when you say nothing… at all
- My karma just ran over my dogma
- If it weren’t for Thomas Edison, we’d all be watching TV by candlelight
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?”
- When someone gets up to use the bathroom, say, I win!”
- Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
- Sometimes, the road less traveled is that way for a good reason
- What hair color do they put in bald people’s driver’s licenses?
- When your partner gets ready to leave, ask them, So, have you thought about what I asked you while you were sleeping?”
- Whatever’s eating you must be in even worse shape than you are
- During a private conversation, Is this why fate brought us together?”
- Leave someone a text that says, You have no idea what you’ve done!”
- Is it possible to know what is truly good and what is evil?
- Which orange came first – the fruit or the color?
- Lean into someone and ask, You think they know about your… you know?”
