Dr. Odd

The Simpsons Sound Bites

Homer Simpson WAVs - Simpsons Sounds

• Homer Simpson
  

• "To start, press anykey, where's the anykey? I see esk, catarl and pigup. There doesn't seem to be any anykey!"
  
• "Ow! The bee bit my bottom, now my bottom's big!"
  
• "What the hell are you reading books for?!"
  
• "Ahha!! Look!! That kids' got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel?"
  
• "Oh my god! Oh my god! Where did you get that brownie?!"
  
• It took the children 40 minutes to locate Canada on the map "Marge, anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there"
  
• "Chauffeur's licence ay?"
  
• "I paid for a colossal donut, and I'm gunna get a colossal donut!"
  
• "Dear, somebody you never heard of, how is so and so, blah blah blah blah blah, your's truly, some bozo"
  
• "Doh! nuts"
  
• "Doh! Doh! Doh!...... I mean, Woohoo!"
  
• Drool
  
• "Da da, dadada hey!! Da da da......."
  
• "Oh, and how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, everytime I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive?" That's because you were drunk! "And how!"
  
• "Check with the FBI, I have a file, I have a file!!!"
  
• ".....Well good luck finding it 'cos I'm gunna take the numbers off tonight!" Then we'll look for the house with no numbers "Then I'll take off the numbers on the neighbours house!......"
  
• "If he marries your mother Marge, we'll be brother and sister! and then our kids, they'll be horrible freaks with pink skin, no overbites and five fingers on each hand!"
  
• "Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Well, that's nothing 'cause youuuu have a gambling problem!......."
  
• "Gas, break, honk. Gas, break, honk. Honk, honk, punch. Gas, gas, gas"
  
• "This scene is gettin' old man, I'm hittin' the road! Maybe I'll drop you a line some day from where ever I wind up in this crazy old world"
  
• "I need help, Oh God, help me! Help me God!......."
  
• "Inanimate huh? I'll show him inanimate!!"
  
• "Are we in India yet?" No "Are we in India yet?" No "Are we in India yet?......."
  
• "Hmmm, fabulous house, well behaved kids, sisters'-in-law dead, luxury sedan, woohoo!! Looks like I hit the jackpot!"
  
• "You Jiiive turkey!! See? ya gotta sas it, quit jiiiiving me turkey!! ya got ta sas it!"
  
•  "Some people call me the space cowboy........"
  
• "Me, in a Nuclear Power Plant. Hehehe, KABOOM! Hehehehe"
  
• "I asked for ketchup!! I'm eatin' salad here!"
  
• Homer practising for Whacking Day
  
• ".......Well, I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy. I'm gunna go right downstairs, unfold the couch......."
  
• "Hey, he's not happy at all, he lied to us through song! I hate when people do that!!"
  
• "Maybe it's the beer talking Marge, but you have a butt that won't quit........"
  
• "I'm coming with you." But sir, the head office is in India "Ok" Dad, thats over ,000 miles away.......
  
• "Aahhh!! My cookie!!!"
  
• "Bart and Lisa have to go to school while I get to stay home, Nah nah nah nah"
  
• "Nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd!!"
  
• "Here ye, here ye, the Homer broadcasting system is on the air!! All hollering, all the time"
  
• "But I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky"
  
• Homer, do you have any plans for after graduation? "Me, I'm gunna drink a lot of beer and stay out aaaalll night!!"
  
• "So, Hugh, have you heard all the latest American jokes? Uhh, here's a good one. Pull my finger......"
  
• "It's rainin' men?" Yeah, well not no more it 'aint
  
• "Ruh ruh ruh ruh......."
  
• "I don't see Barney-let's-crash-the-rocket-into-the-whitehouse-and-kill-the-president-Gummmmble!!"
  
• "Sorry Mr Burns, but I don't go in for these back door shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!"
  
• "So Lenny says that I'm uh, hehe, get this, hehe, a little slow!! Ahahahaha!...."
  
• "Oh, ok Marge, I'll get along with them. Then, I will hug some snakes. Yes, I will hug and kiss some poisonous snakes!!........Now that's sarcasm!"
  
• "Marge, please, old people don't need companionship! They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use"
  
• "C'mon you stupid fish, take the bait!! Don't make me come down there!"
  
• "Superglue my butt!!!"
  
• "How about those rainbow suspenders huh? Pretty cool way to keep your pants up eh?"
  
• "Um, I'll have four tax burgers, one IRS switch, withhold the lettuce, three dependant sized sodas and a fikeachino"
  
• "Hey, there's something you don't see in a toilet everyday"
  
• "It's time to take out the trash! But first I'm going to have to ask you to leave"
  
• You want trouble? You're gunna get trouble. "Oh, I want trouble alright" Then you're gunna get trouble "No, you're gunna get trouble!" Oh, that's good, that's good, 'cause I want trouble "Then we're agreed, there'll be trouble" Oh, yeah, lots of trouble "Trouble it is" For you "Fu......Doh!"
  
• "Ugly, wiener, crater face, soo whee! soo wee!"
  
• "To think of all the time I wasted on you!"
  
• "Oh! wait a minute, actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one!! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another one!"
  
•  "Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you"
  
• "At least I'm out there trying new things. If it were up to you all we would ever do is work and go to church"
  
• "Mmmm, 64 slices of American Cheese"
  
• "Aggh! I mean, Ahlo"
  
• "I'll never wiggle my bare butt in public again"
  
• "Oh no! the batteries!"
  
• "Aaagh!! Boogey Man!!!"
  
• "Boring!"
  
• "Checkmate Mr trampoline......"
  
• "Well, if it isn't the leader of the wiener patrol boning up on his nerd lesson......."
  
• "Food goes in here!"
  
• "Go to hell!!"
  
• "The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side" That's a right-triangle you idiot!!
  
• "See, I got this friend named Joey-Joe-Joe Jr. Shabadu?"
  
• "Curse you magic beans!"
  
• "Ah ha! April fools! I've been keeping that carton of milk next to the furnace for six weeks!
  
• "That's right money. Your money's happiness is all that money's"
  
• "Son? This is Mrs Burns. I just called to say I don't love you......"
  
•  "Oh Margie, you came and you found me a turkey. On my vacation away from workey"
  
• "Marge, can I go outside and play?"
  
• "Don't you know the poem? Water, water everywhere, so let's all have a drink"
  
• "How was jerk practice boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees? And build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs?....."
  
• "Oh, pardon me Mr lets ration everything"
  
• "Hello, this is the Repo-Depo. I'm just calling to distract you while we re-posses your plow......"
  
• "Alright, you win for now, but some day you'll rust!! Rust I tell ya!!! Hahahaha....."
  
• "Selma my dear, how are ya? Uh-huh, uh-huh, listen, shut up for a second"
  
•  "Sugar, do do do do do. Awww honey, honey......"
  
• "Your car was upside-down when we got here"
  
• "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals!.......'cept the weasel"
  
• Alright, are you willing to go under cover to nail this creep? "No way man, no way man!! Get yourself another patsy man....."
  
• "Ow! pointy! Eww slimy! Uh-oh! moving! Ah-ha! Aww, twenty dollars, I wanted a peanut......"
  
• "Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back, but we've also expanded into other important areas......"
  
• "Put this in your pipe and smoke it!!"
  
• You may ask me three questions "Are you really the head of the Kwik-e-Mart?" Yes "Really?" Yes "You?" Yes......
  
• "What does sequestered mean?" If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world....
  
• "Why did you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anyone laughing, did you?......"
  
• "Mmmmm, beer nuts"
  
• "Hehehe blubahbluhbluuhuhuh!!"
  
• "Man, this is crazy. I hope I didn't brain my damage"
  
• "....Eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding......"
  
• "Ever since you started therapy all you can do is talk about yourself. Well what about me Marge?......."
  
• "Ah, Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back. He has to push the sanctity of marriage or his god will punish him"
  
• "Got it Barn?" Got what?.....
  
• "In America, first you get da sugar, den you get da power, den you get da women"
  
• "Marge are we jewish?" No Homer "Woohoo!"
  
• "Jump Free Willy, jump!! Jump with all your might!"
  
• "Alright brain, you don't like me and I don't like you, so let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer"
  
• "There's something bothering me about this place. I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit!!......."
  
• "C'mon Marge I wanna shake of the dust of this one horse town! I wanna explore the world! I wanna watch TV in a different time zone......."
  
• "That dog has a puffy tail!!......"
  
• "Marge do you respect my intelligence?" Yes "Ok! Wait a minute, why did it take you so long to answer?......"
  
• "....Without a strong male presence in the house you could turn sissy overnight! Oh these stubborn grass stains"
  
• "Mmmm, slanty"
  
• "I saw this a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping it's speed over 50, and if it's speed dropped, it would explode......"
  
• "Stealing!! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons in church? Captain what's-his-name?"
  
• ".....I want it all. The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles....."
  
• "If he can teach a class, he can teach a class!! I mean, I can teach a class!!"
  
• "......You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!! 'Cos when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo!! That was your best friends face, you'll know what to do!....."
  
• "I know you can read my thoughts boy. Yum yum yum yum yum......"
  
• "Now, what is a wedding? Well, Websters dictionary describes a wedding as, the process of removing weeds from one's garden"
  
• Now, I'm going to burn this donut to show you how many calories it has "Noooooooo!......"
  
• Did you know that the Chinese use the same word for crisis as they do for opportunity? "Yes!! Crisotunity!"
  
• What is your area of expertise? "Well, I can tell the difference between butter and 'I can't believe it's not butter'...."
  
• I have a special present for you but I'll give it to you later tonight "Special present?!? I don't wanna wait. I want it now! I want the children to see....."
  
• Alright, here are your exams. 50 questions, true or false. "True" Homer, I was just describing the test......
  
• "When the fire starts to burn. There's a lesson you must learn. Something something, then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe....."
  
• "Mmmmm, fattening"
  
• "I'm all naked and wet!"
  
• "No offence Apu but when they were handing out religions you must have been out taking a whiz"
  
• "Hey, there blimpey boy. Flying through the sky so fancy free"
  
• "Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?" No, you're homely as a mule's butt!
  
• "When it comes to compliments women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always wantin' more more more! And if you give it to them you'll get plenty back in return......"
  
• "I guess this is the time to tell you. You're adopted and I don't like you"
  
• "Spare me your medical mumbo jumbo"
  
• "Oh doctor. I was in a wonderful place filled with fire and brimstone and there all these guys in red pyjamas sticking pitch forks in my butt"
  
• "Questions?! questions! Oh, my whole scheme down the!.. I mean, ask away"
  
• 19 "Hit me"  "Hit me" 21 "Hit me" 22 "D'oh"
  
• "And to shake your bootie means to wiggle one's butt. Permit me to demonstrate"
  
• "Hey, boy. Where ya goin'?" Father-son picnic "Have a good time!...Wait a minute..."
  
• "You've been out gallivanting around with that floozy of a bigger brother of yours. Haven't you. Haven't you! Look at meee!!"
  
• "Because its a stupid piece of junk!!!........"
  
• "Oh, its that record club. The first nine were only a penny. Then they jacked up the price! It's not fair! It's not fair, I tells ya!"
  
• "Hey kids, wanna drive through that cactus patch?" Yeah. Yeah. No! "Whoop, two against one!"
  
• Heidily hey! "Go home"Doodily doo
  
• Let's just practise a bit, hmm? When I say, 'Hello, Mr. Thompson,' you'll say, 'Hi'......
  
• "Ooh, a plan fiendishly clever in its in-tric-asies."
  
• "Chlorine eh?"
  
• "Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk"
  
• "Ewwwwwww!"
  
• Tis a fine barn but sure 'tis no pool english "D'oheth!"
  
• "I got the idea when I noticed the refrigerator was cold......"
  
• ".....then everything is wrapped up in a neat little package!!! Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic"
  
• "See you in hell, candy boys!"
  
• "Well somebody had to take the baby-sitter home, then I noticed she was sitting on her sweet-can. I grab her sweet-can......."
  
• "I can't even say the word titmouse without giggling like a school girl"
  
• "Hey, could you take the wheel for a second, I have to scratch myself in two places at once"
  
•  "Under the sea....."
  
• "He said I was an accident. He didn't want to have me." You didn't want to have Bart "Yes, but you're not supposed to tell the child....."
  
• "But I'm using my whole ass"
  
• "Simpson , terrorists 8"
  
• "I hope I haven't upset you. Bongohead!!!........."
  
• "Aww, it's a boy. And what a boy!!!" Er, that's the umbilical cord. It's a girl.
  
• "While the unprepared are still sitting around twiddling their thumbs and going Do-do-do-doo......."
  
• ".....You're cooking what for dinner?"
  
• "The girls of the internet. Ooh I'd go on-line with them anyday!"
  
• "Is this episode going on the air live?" No, Homer. Very few cartoons are broadcast live, it's a terrible strain on the animators' wrists.
  
• "Heyyyy, this is Homer Simpson sayin' howdy to all the girls out there in radio land"
  
• "She smells sheep smells by the sheet shtore. Wait wait, let me try it again"
  
• You have the right to remain silent "I choose to waive that right....BLAAAAHHHH WWAAAHHHH......."
  

• More Simpsons Sounds

• Homer Simpson Doh