When were you born? Where?

April 2, 1971 at Central DuPage Hospital in Winfield, IL.

What is the 1st thing you want to do when you get home from work or when you wake up on the weekends?

When I get home from work, the first thing I do is give my daughters a hug, ask them how much Mom spent shopping today and then ask my wife what's for dinner. On the weekends everyone in our house knows that dad doesn't do anything until he's done reading the paper, sports page last.

Who would you like to pattern yourself after?

My parents and my father in law. I think I get a lot of my patience and relaxed nature from them. I always remember my parents being patient when I was acting crazy as a kid and I pretty much do the same thing with my daughters.

What is your favorite vacation spot?

Either New Buffalo, MI on Lake Michigan or Destin, FL. I like fresh water more than salt water, though.

If you could get paid the same amount of $ at your current job and do anything, what would it be?

After much deliberation, I'm going to say either play professional soccer or be the drummer in a world famous touring rock band.

If you found $200 in the trash and you had to spend it that day, what would you do with it?

The responsible part of my brain would say "Go get a new pair of shoes for work", but the other side would probably win by saying "Screw the wingtips, blow it on a 80's hair metal mix on iTunes".

What kind of music you like the most and why?

Most importantly, I can't stand country music. Right now I'm really into Incubus and 311. I was born & raised on Johnny Cash, Gordon Lightfoot and Chicago (thanks a bunch, mom & dad), but quickly turned my love towards the "original" Van Halen and the cream of the 80's hair metal crop. My favorites are (in no particular order) Pearl Jam, R.E.M., Depeche Mode, 311, Liz Phair, Dave Matthews Band, Hum, Metallica and A Tribe Called Quest.

Who have you been most influenced by and why?

Hmmmm...I'm going to have to say my parents again. And my mom's brother, my Uncle Dick. Before he passed away he was a priest and always very understanding. I'll always remember how cool it was as a kid to go to his house in these little farm towns in Central Illinois and see how much he loved what he did and how the families in his parishes looked up to him.

What makes you cry?

I'm a bit of a sap. I teared up a bit when the other day when I had to leave town and my youngest daughter told me she didn't want me to go on the airplane again. The ending of the movie "Philadelphia", when Goose died in "Top Gun" and when the Cubs lost to the Fish in the 2003 NLCS, just to name a few others.

What is your favorite town or state in the United States?

Chitown, baby...born & raised!

What do you usually eat for dinner?

My wife's been on the healthy eating kick lately, so we've been eating a lot of stuff from Meal Makers. It's a franchise that one of my college roommates opened where you go and prepare fresh meals, then take them home and freeze them. Good stuff so far. Before we did this, we did a lot of fast food or take out...which I miss.

What is your favorite website?

This question is TOTALLY unfair, as I have approximately 43 favorites at the present time. Of course drodd.com is up there along with homestarrunner.com, tuckermax.com, The Sports Guy on ESPN Page2, thephatphree.com, www.jdxruckus.com, metalsludge.com, cubs.com, barnburners.com and last but not least...the Bruce Lee Remixer at www.skop.com/brucelee. Trust me, once you go here you'll won't leave until you make the PERFECT kung fu movie.

If you had to hear 1 album for the rest of your life what would it be?

Life's Rich Pageant by R.E.M., Vs. by Pearl Jam or Exile In Guyville by Liz Phair. I'll let Dr. Odd pick since this decision is too tough for me to make on my own.

What is your favorite movie?

The most underrated movie of the 80's...Heathers. During high school my buddy Abbott & I rented it just about every other day from Video Hits in Naperthrill, but only after we got done cruising the McDonald's on Naper looking for big

haired girls. My wife's two younger brothers think I'm an absolute idiot for this, but one of them doesn't have his spleen anymore and the other once walked home naked from his neighbors house on a $4 bet, so what do they know?

What do you do for $?

I sell interactive local search marketing solutions for TMP Directional Marketing. I help clients analyze their websites and sell them services to help said sites rank higher in search engines. It beats working for IniTech or wearing 913 pieces of flair at Chatchski's.

What do you find attractive in the opposite sex?

I like a good sense of humor, someone who likes to have fun, knock back a few beers and get a little stupid every now and then. And I'd be a big fat liar if I didn't say boobs, too. I dig a nice rack.

Dogs or cats?

Neither really, but I'll go with dogs. I'm horribly, horribly allergic to cats.

What is your favorite sports team?

The standard Chicago favorites...Cubs, Bulls, Bears, Fire, 'Hawks. But no Sox. No reason, I just didn't pay much attention to them growing up. I'm also a big North Carolina Tarheel hoops fan. That started around the time Michael sunk that game winner against Georgetown in '82.

You got any Tattoos?

Nada. Maybe some day. I've thought about it, but if it ever came down to it I probably wouldn't be able to decide on what I'd get.

Do you use styling products in your hair?

Who doesn't? I go with the Orange Dep goo. I think it's called something like "Super Hold #9", but don't quote me on that.

What is your favorite cartoon character?

Does Charlie the Tuna count? If not, I'm going Ol' School with Quick Draw McGraw. Cartoons today suck ass. Too much "Let's teach the kids about sharing and naps and eating vegetables" and not enough falling anvils, groovy green 70's disco vans or coyotes strapping 43 ton firecrackers to a shitty pair of roller skates.

Got any nicknames? What do they mean or how did you get them?

My first nickname from high school was "Moe Dickstien" from the Joe Piscopo/Danny DeVito movie "Wise Guys" because my last name is Dirksen and my friends thought it sounded the same as Dickstein. Ang, Wendy & Strom called me "Jorsh" in high school too, although for the life of me I can't remember why. In college I went by "Mosh" for a while on account of the mullet I was sporting and my love at the time for Metallica.

What is your salad dressing of choice?

Ranch. Goes with damn near everything.

What is your favorite fast food place? What do you order there?

Back in Chi

town it's Portillo's, hands down. Beef sammich with hot giardianera, large fries and a frosty schooner of Miller Lite. Here in St. Louis it's probably Jack In The Box...their fried tacos sound revolting, but once you have one you'll be hooked for life.

What is your favorite booze beverage?

Gin, preferably Boodles English Gin. Either with tonic and lime or in a dirty martini. If we're talking beer, it's gotta be ice cold Leinenkugel's.

What is the one thing people say about you the most?

I have no idea...I'll say that I'm a nice guy or that I'm incredibly loyal to my family and friends.

What do you think people say are some of your most virtuous qualities?

I've had a few friends tell me that I'm selfless. I tend to make sure everyone else is happy or has what they need before I worry about myself.

What do you think people say are some of your vices?

If you ask most of my idiot friends in St. Louis, it's being a Cubs fan, but don't pay any attention to them. Vices? Fast food comes to mind. And listening to Faster Pussycat. And still owning "Freakshow" by the Bullet Boys on CD.

What is your biggest pet peeve?

People who are rude in public, people who put others down to feel better about themselves, uneducated St. Louis Cardinal fans whose only argument when discussing baseball is "Cubs suck, dude" or "When was the last time you won a World Series?" or "Steve Bartman totally screwed you guys", drink companies that name a grape drink "Jagged Edge" instead of "grape" and advertising agencies who convince their clients to spell words incorrectly like "Qwik" or "EZ" in their ads to sound more hip and cool to kids...when all they're doing is making sure said kids can't spell anything correctly.