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Baldness |
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Wrinkles |
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Hair on back |
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Hair in ears |
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Your young coworkers don't know what 90210 is |
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You work with people that don't remember the 1985 bears superbowl |
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You visit your college and the students look like your kids |
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You talk about how things were back in the day |
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You take vitamins |
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You spend time working in the garage |
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You remember the 1st time people wore their collars up |
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You recognize elevator music songs |
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You like staying in |
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You know what rabbit ears are |
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You know what a pension plan is |
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You have never heard of the drinking games people are playing |
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You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. |
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You have a cabinet for pills |
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You get pulled over by the police for going too slow |
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You find yourself watching CBS and VH1 |
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You feel hungover but you didn't drink the night before |
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You feel body parts bouncing when you go down stairs |
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You eat more chicken because you are worried about red meat and heart disease |
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You don't know how to program the VCR |
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You constantly talk about the price of gasoline. |
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You can't see your feet |
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You can't believe how fast the kids are driving |
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You are proud of your lawn mower. |
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You add weight to your drivers license weight every time you go to the DMV |
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Your last experience with video games was Atari or even Nintendo |
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Very tired in morning if you stay up late |
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There's nothing left to learn the hard way. |
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The only exercise you do is for rehab purposes. |
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The kinds of things that you want in a car is for it to be roomy and good gas mileage |
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Strangers call you Sir |
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People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" |
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Not being able to hit on hot dumb 24 year olds |
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Men get bigger gut |
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Knees hurt |
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Joints hurt |
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It takes twice as long to look half as good. |
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Inability to drink heavily without feeling like a sack of hammers the next day |
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Inability to commit to anything like softball because you have to go shopping with your wife for a couch |
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I want clothes for xmas and not toys. |
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I think concerts are loud |
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I think bars are smokey |
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I go to bed early |
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Get offended by Hooters ads |
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I don't care how my hair looks |
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I can't go into Abercrombie & Fitch |
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Hurts when I bend over to tie shoes |
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Heartburn |
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Hearing goes bad |
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Having to worry about your job because you work in telecom |
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Have more money but don't buy fun stuff with it |
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Getting lucky has nothing to do with girls, it has all to do with Keno |
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Feces smell worse |
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Fat |
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Exercise feels good afterwards |
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Erectile dysfunction |
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Cold weather (winters) bother you more |
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Cannot eat spicy food because it makes stomach upset |
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You sound like an idiot when you say words like cool, rad, and dude |
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Bifocals |
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Trifocals |