A new hysteria is hitting all across America

A new hysteria is hitting all across America and no, I'm not talking about Def Leppard's greatest hits album. I'm talking about the immense fear of being bit by an insect: a mosquito to be more exact. So you may be asking yourself, what's the big deal? It's just a little itching and some red bumps. If you're thinking this, then you probably need to get your head out of your ass and read the paper a little bit more or turn on something other then porn when you're watching TV. Mosquito's have been the culprit in spreading something called the West Nile Virus. It's basically the flu, that can cause your brain to swell, leading to a most uncomfortable death. Not as being bad as drawn and quartered but pretty damn close. Okay, so odds are against that happening (if you're under the age of 50), but do you really want to take the chance?!?!

Now the best way to protect against this horrible disease from causing your untimely death is pure and simple; don't get bit by a mosquito. Insect repellant, long sleeve shirts and pants will help, but you it would be wise to take further precautions. I would suggest wrapping yourself head to toe in some of that mosquito netting. Better yet, cover all your windows, doors and walls with your netting and never leave your house. If you're not exposed to mosquitoes, then they can't get you, right?

So what do you do if you get bit? Nothing. Sorry, but that's the cold hard truth. Once you're bit, you just have to sit and wait to see if you're head expands. So go and get yourself some mosquito netting and start your hibernating.

- Special thanks to jshin - Archive